This morning, I woke slightly earlier than normal, but I didn’t mind. Not too badly.
Because I was going to get free pancakes.
So I pop out of bed, start getting ready and I’m not sure what drew my attention, but suddenly, I realize: there is a three inch roach on my ceiling. A ceiling that is shared by my three sleeping roommates.
Containing the spontaneous profanity that tried to spew forth at my surprise, I gathered my wits and a tennis shoe. Then I climbed atop my desk chair, prayed for sure aim, and swung.
I hit, but he fell, like he ought to have, but THEN he started running and he most certainly should not have done that. And he ran straight to my closet. There is small pile of shoes (a pair of flats and my boots) in front of my closet and that is where he disappeared. Tentatively, and with much trepidation, I plucked and tossed each shoe until I uncovered my quarry. Apparently, I had dealt him a death blow, because he was no longer moving. I hit him twice more anyway, for good measure.
I disposed of him quietly, simply and with much disgust by scooping him up on a sheet of paper and burying him in our trashcan.
And then I sliced my finger open on a lint roller. I have no idea how I get to lead such an exciting life.